My Birth Stories From 2 c/sections to a VBAC
Each of my births changed me.
Not just into a Mother, but into a woman who began to question, listen deeply and find my voice.
Two surgical births filled with fear and compliance, then finding my power and my instincts , a fierce and beautiful VBAC.
These are my stories,
If you are navigating birth for the first time, or wondering if it’s possible to have a different experience, I hope these words land gently.
Birth #1
The Breech, the Fear, the First Caesarean
With my first pregnancy, I was healthy and well, everything was smooth.
I didn’t think too deeply about birth. We were under the care of an Obstetrician and, like so many, we trusted the system completely. We were both naive - we didn’t know there was any other way.
We attended the hospital birth class, but honestly didn’t get much out of it. I was just going with the flow, doing what I thought was normal. I didn’t realise how much I didn’t know.
At 39 weeks we found out our baby was breech. I remember feeling surprised, but also hopeful- I said I wanted to try to deliver. But was quickly met with warnings and risks. The way it was presented made me feel there wasn’t really a choice.
So I listened, I trusted and I booked in for a caesarean.
What followed was not the joyous, love filled moment I had imagined.
The birth felt cold and clinical. I was separated from my baby for hours. The room was sterile, the atmosphere detached. I felt pain both physical and emotional - and above all, I felt lonely.
I didn’t have words for it at the time, but I now know it was the beginning of a deeper questioning - knowing that birth could be something more.
This birth changed me-physically and emotionally. I carried the weight of it into my second pregnancy, still unsure, still naive, still trusting the system.
Still hoping things might be different.
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