My Birth Stories From 2 c/sections to a VBAC

Each of my births changed me.

Not just into a Mother, but into a woman who began to question, listen deeply and find my voice.

Two surgical births filled with fear and compliance, then finding my power and my instincts , a fierce and beautiful VBAC.

These are my stories,

If you are navigating birth for the first time, or wondering if it’s possible to have a different experience, I hope these words land gently.

Birth #1

The Breech, the Fear, the First Caesarean

With my first pregnancy, I was healthy and well, everything was smooth.

I didn’t think too deeply about birth. We were under the care of an Obstetrician and, like so many, we trusted the system completely. We were both naive - we didn’t know there was any other way.

We attended the hospital birth class, but honestly didn’t get much out of it. I was just going with the flow, doing what I thought was normal. I didn’t realise how much I didn’t know.

At 39 weeks we found out our baby was breech. I remember feeling surprised, but also hopeful- I said I wanted to try to deliver. But was quickly met with warnings and risks. The way it was presented made me feel there wasn’t really a choice.

So I listened, I trusted and I booked in for a caesarean.

What followed was not the joyous, love filled moment I had imagined.

The birth felt cold and clinical. I was separated from my baby for hours. The room was sterile, the atmosphere detached. I felt pain both physical and emotional - and above all, I felt lonely.

I didn’t have words for it at the time, but I now know it was the beginning of a deeper questioning - knowing that birth could be something more.

This birth changed me-physically and emotionally. I carried the weight of it into my second pregnancy, still unsure, still naive, still trusting the system.

Still hoping things might be different.

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My Second Birth-

The One I Didn’t Know I Could Say No To

Birth #2 The One I Didn’t Know I Could Say “No” To.

When I became pregnant with my second daughter, I had hope that this time it would be different.

There was a part of me that was still affected by my first caesarean, that thought “Maybe this time I’ll have a better experience.

But I didn’t really know what that meant. I didn’t know how to ask for something else or what that would even look like.

I was still in the mindset that the Doctor knows best.

So, I went along with everything- the checkups, the appointments, the monitoring. I wanted to believe that things would just work out.

I went to hospital when I thought I was in labor. I didn’t know about the stages of labor- I was simply doing what I thought was right. What I had been told was safest. They examined me. I was only 1cm dilated.

And then……. nothing.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Post Partum: The Part No One Prepared Me For.

What I didn’t know after my first 2 births was that the real transformation doesn’t end when the baby is born-it deepens in the days, weeks and months that follow.

After my first caesarean, I felt a darkness settle in, a lingering sadness, disconnection and guilt.

I didn’t know at the time it was the beginning of Post Partum Depression. I thought maybe I was just doing things wrong. Everyone else seemed to be coping, smiling, bonding.

I didn’t feel like myself, and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

My second birth, also a caesarean ,brought more of the same.

I remember being in a room full of people and felling completely alone. I didn’t have the emotional support , I craved or the practical help I needed. I cried every day and held a deep sadness , yet knew I had to continue to care for my babies.

I carried on, silently telling myself this was normal, that this was Motherhood.

It was a dark and lonely time, there were moments I thought, “Maybe they’d be better off without me”. Those thoughts terrified me but they were real.

It wasn’t until my third birth, my VBAC, that I experienced what post partum could be-what is should be

This time I had people around me who nourished me. Fed me. Checked in on me, not just my baby. I learned to ask for what I needed.

The birth itself was powerful, but the after was just as healing. There was still exhaustion and the caring of 3 children- but I didnt feel alone. I felt held. And that changed everything.

I rested, I recovered and I bonded with my babies. Those early days of motherhood can feel lonely- I’ve been there, I remember them well.

This is why I do the work I now do, with women in pregnancy, birth and motherhood. I want women to know what is possible when you are deeply, truly supported.